There’s always “Start” in every “Finish”

Disclaimer: this is my very first journey written in English. I’m sorry if there’s any hard-to-understand word. I write with my warmest heart to share my unforgettable times . Enjoy peeps 🥰

When I was in High School, I’d never thought before to become a Bachelor in International Relations, or even imagined to be a Social college student. At that time, I was busy with my preparation for national exam and never thought what I want-to-be next year. And now I realized that I’ve ever answered my friend’s question when I was in Middle School,

“Where do you want to work?”

“At Embassy, perhaps”

Without thinking further, I answered it clearly. Every word is a prayer. Maybe it brought me here to become a Bachelor in International Relation (should be one step closer to the answer).

In 2018, I had my first heartbreaking phase in education. I’m a optimistic type of student and thought that I’d be accepted in my dream major — Accountancty, at Universitas Negeri Jakarta. When I was checking on SNMPTN announcement, I found red label in my name and those motivation words broad on my monitor. At that time, I’ve never had an option. Maybe some of my friends picked their way to be a worker, but I didn’t. I grabbed my laptop, searched everything about SBMPTN and started to study soon. I spent my next 3 months with books, laptop, and hope. Even when I picked three majors for my next test, I still chose Accountancy at very top, IR at the middle, and Law at the bottom. I didn’t have any consideration about the opportunity percentages, I just knowing myself not too bad in English 😂

In August, I become an IR student without any knowledge about IR itself. As a new student, we should joined the IR group chat, made by senior student. At very first time too, I feel pessimistic about myself. How did they talk about MUN while I never heard that word before. Could I passed this journey? Is there anyone like me?

There is.

Sadly, Laras can't attend our graduate due to her job

They are my besties. We passed our next four years together. Specially, Gita is my first friend in college. I met her when we were in the same group in orientation period. Unexpectedly, we were in the same class too. I texted her at the night before our first class. We became friends untill now. There are so much memories I spent with Gita — going to the canteen, she waiting for me at Mosque, do our paper together, relaxing at internet area, or even to the restroom. I have four besties besides her, they are Rahmah, Laras, Dhila, and Alfiana. We made our group chat named “Penikmat Kopi Senja” 'cause we always ordered Janji Jiwa (which identic with “anak indie”) during the break. We didn’t meet regularly because of pandemic and started the online class. The hardest part is thesis phase. We worked individually and only congratulate if one of us finished their thesis. In September 2022, me and two besties — Alfiana and Dhila graduated from our university. I had my Gloomy Sunday (our graduate day was in sunday) for leaving my other friends, but I was happy at the same too because I can finished my study on time 😢💔

We miss the l-o-v-e part. I had my first bf when I was in college 😶 we are in the same journey too and graduate in the same year. We helped each other. We were in the same age but have different goals. Wish us all the best.

After graduated, I face the crisis about myself. I didn’t know about my passion, my dream job, or even the future. I love writing, but I feel not good enough if I become a Content Writer. I love do administrative tasks, but I feel not that expertise in using Microsoft Office. I love being part of governance, but I don’t know where to start. I love all of them, but I’m in doubt. Is this normal? When will I find the answer?

One thing that I realize: there’s always “Start” in every “Finish”. I finished my college journey, then I have to start my professional career. Even when we died, we have to start the life-after. Hopefully I can enjoy all the moments in life. I hope my next post will bring the happiness.

Be happy peeps. May Allah give us the strength to always wake up for 🥰

☺ stay connected wimme☺

💬 instagram.com/dikeaseilla 

💬 twitter.com/geminois

💬 paintingundermoonlight@gmail.com